My Relationship is Over

Okay so I've been going through hell. My ex boyfriend is psycho... for the past month and a half he was posing to be his sister and texting me telling me that he was in jail and in a mental institution. This went on and on and finally he got caught in his HUGE lie. I'm actually trying to make a long story short. Anyways, he got caught in his lie and then tried to make it seem like he wanted to get back with me. From one day to the next he dropped me and was back to ignoring me. I wouldn't be surprised if he was with a new girl. The kid is a true pathological liar and I really wish him the best of luck.. but I HATE HIM! I know "hate" is a strong word but when it comes to him and everything he's done I mean it!!!! I don't know how someone could lie like that just to hurt someone and bring them down. I know that I would never be able to put someone through so much pain! It makes me really angryyyyyyy!!!

UGH!@#$%

Okay so these past few days have been hell. Complete hell! I am so stressed out. Remember the guy that I would constantly talk about in my other blog? Well the drama continues... It's unbelievable! It's pretty personal whats going on and I won't get into it, but things are out of control. He doesn't get along with his family and is actually going to move out shortly but I have no idea what's going to happened between him and I. On top of that drama, work is very stressful. I work at Costco where it's full of young people who have nothing better to do then instigate problems. I fell like I'm at high school when I walk in and start my shift. It's gotten so bad that at times I just don't feel like going. A few nights ago I ended my shift in tears. Everything is so overwhelming. And if you thought that wasn't enough, school is killing me. I sometimes wish that I didn't have so much to pay for because then I can put forth all my attention to school. It sounds bad but I havent had time to even start my research paper. NINE PAGES!!!! So i see myself pulling an all nighter one of these nights. I'm late on all my blogs, behind in school work, stressing my job and just confused about my life in general. I can not wait till i can get a little vacation!!!!!!!!!

Yucky Day

Well I've been feeling under the whether these past few days. I woke up this morning to get ready for work and starting feeling horrible!!!! So despite the fact that I am blessed to have my job, I had to call out sick today (not the first time). I'm scared I'll lose my job because I hear that they are suspending and laying people off left and right. It's really scary, especially since I have so many bills to pay for. I hope it all works out and that I get better soon.

Crazy Life

So I've been incredibly busy and haven't had time for anything. I've fallen behind in school and work is getting a bit overwhelming. Between juggling all that and my personal life, it's not easy. I have also started going to some casting to become a model and it's really not easy at all. I actually received an e-mail informing me that I was chosen to be in a Spanish television show. It's pretty exciting but at the same time I don't think i can handle anymore on my plate. UGH!!! Well I just finished my proposal for English and I'm pretty tired. I'll let you know how it all goes. Goodnight.

My Favorite Author

So the presentations were good and entertaining. My favorite author is Edgar Allan Poe just because I have always been fascinated with his writing technique. His life was very sad and he endured a lot of heartache and pain. He seems to have suffered greatly with the loss of women he cared about. In middle school I remember learning about him and the stories he wrote. Most of them were related to events of his life and although there are authors who write about their life, none can compare to Poe, in my opinion of course.

Long, but worth reading.. I promise!

Ha okay so I haven't written a blog in a while.. let's catch up! hmm... okay.. Two weeks ago (I think it was a Saturday) I went to the keys with my ex-boyfriend. I was mad because we were suppose to leave early in the afternoon and he got caught up working so we ended up leaving around 6ish! UGH! Well because of everything that has happened between Tito and I, my mom really dislikes him. I've been seeing him behind her back and it's really hard because I hate lying to my and especially over something that's really my decision. Anyways.. I told her I was going to some karaoke bar with my friends.

So as we were driving his truck was acting up but nothing serious considering it was an old truck. Three hours later we arrived at Key West and found some amazing parking on Devull Street. We were having a great time listening to music and going into the gift shops, I was actually happy. Well it started getting late and we had a long drive ahead of us, on top of me having to work at 11 in the morning. We get into his truck and pull away when all of a sudden we hear this loud noise. I'm thinking the kid hit the car in front of us!!! Tito starts panicking because his truck is pulling to the right and the brakes went out. OH MY GOD!!!! He parks the truck and we get out to realize that his right tire is about to fall off!!!!! HA HA! Did I mention the truck was old?

I couldn't help but to laugh!!! He was so worried because we were about three hours away from Miami and it was 12:15 am. We started thinking and realized that calling a tow truck was like impossible because it would be way too much money to tow us to Miami. Plan B: call his parents. Boy did Tito get yelled at! ha ha. Then I began to panic because my mom had no idea where I was and with who! Well to make a long story short we waited in his truck with a bunch of drunk people surrounding us. We had a couple fighting (physically) in the middle of the street on one side; then there was a this young guy and this lady who looks like she could be his mother, on the other side making out looking like they just had a one night stand.GROSS!

I got hungry and we went to eat Denny's at 12:45 am. His uncle was driving down to pick us up. Well I finally got home at 6:10 am and my mom never found out. It was a CRAZY night. definitely a night I will never forget! ha ha

Numb

So, have you ever felt as though your entire body is numb? You're conscience but you can't move or talk? Well that's basically how I felt Tuesday night when I went out to dinner with my ex-boyfriend. I was in a complete shock. I'm guessing it's because of the pain that he's put me through and the way I was actually reacting to the whole situation. I love him very much and actually thought that our relationship was "one of a kind" but I was definitely proven wrong. I sometimes wonder to myself if I am doing the right thing by keeping contact with him, because in the end it just makes it harder to let go. I know that he loves me but his actions sometimes make me wonder. My autobiographical essay was about the heartache that I endured and I wrote it from my heart. I don't know. I'm just really confused and hurt. Maybe in time I'll realize what it is that I truly want. Maybe his actions will change and he'll become the person I actually fell in love with. All I can do is just sit and wait for my heart to make it's decision.